Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
