is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
