Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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