You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
