so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
