yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
