i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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