I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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