There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
