Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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