Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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