Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
