Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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