new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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