my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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