You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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