at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
