It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
