I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
