So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
