Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just invented taco cereal.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
