You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
