I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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