jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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