break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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