i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
