I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
