Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
