I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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