Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
