No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
