he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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