remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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