i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize