I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
