and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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