i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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