I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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