You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
