if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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