My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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