She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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