Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
