so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
