why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
