Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
