Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
