and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
