I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
