i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
