i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize