my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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