I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
