i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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